Digitus Imputicus

I was listening to the radio this morning and the topic of The Finger came up. I can't remember why this particular topic of conversation came up but it got me to thinking. Just what exactly is the difference between giving the bird with the other fingers partially sticking up and the thumb out vis-a-vis giving The Bird with the other fingers forming an entirely closed fist? Is it emphasis? Is it preference? Is it just a style point?

I did a very cursory search on the 'net to see if I could find any information about just what the differences represent and I was distracted by the various websites that are dedicated to it's use, the history and symbolism behind the gesture, various pictures, humorous websites... but nothing came up as to what the differences are between avec or sans variations.

It also got me to thinking about my own experiences with the oft-use gesture. My earliest recollection is my uncle. The man was a freakin' radar when it came to cameras and family portraits. You could never catch the man unawares as far as photography was concerned. In every picture of him he has somehow managed to slip The Bird into it. Some pictures taken of him, where you might have the initial impression that someone actually caught an image of him for all posteriety forevermore amen, are The Bird equivalent to the bunny on in the pictures on the cover of Playboy magazine.

What would Jesus do?

My next memory is elementary school, where a classmate (Jim Cavanaugh... I can't believe I even remember his name) was sent to the principal's office for making the obscene gesture. What ensued was a lively discussion about how he didn't because his knuckles and thumb weren't extended. Potatoe, potahtoe, apparently. I don't remember the ultimate outcome other than he was indeed sent to the principal's office.

My next memory is being a pre-teen (or thereabouts). I was out with my mother and one of my aunts, and we were going shopping I think. Details about the day's events are sketchy until... We were driving through a parking lot, looking for a spot to park. My mother was driving and my aunt was shotgun; I was in the back. As my mother went driving through the lot, a car pulled into our path. My mother honked the horn to draw attention to the fact that we were there and the car was threatening to back into us. The woman behind the wheel slowly backed out of the space and began to roll down her window. My mother, never to be outdone or back down from a fight, buzzed her window down, ready to exchange words with the DFB in the other car. The woman slowly drove along side our car so that the drivers' doors were facing each other. She was so close I swear you couldn't drop a dime between the two cars. Quick as a flash the woman leaned OUT of her car window IN to my mother's, flipped the bird right in my mother's face, and stepped on the gas speeding away. My mother sat there, her and my aunt absolutely flabbergasted, unsure of what had just happened.

Jumping forward a good many years, I was on my internship. I remember we were at a staff meeting for our department. Events leading up to the altercation are again unclear but words were exchanged and another staff person, whom I still totally love and adore to this day (and not for this particular action), slammed her elbow down on the table as she flipped The Bird to my mentor, then stormed out of the room. That image is burned into my memory and I have since discussed it with The Giver. Apparently immediately after the meeting, tears were shed, words of apology exchanged, and they walked off arm-in-arm into the sunset, as they were close friends.

I remember a colleage of mine talking about giving The Digitus Imputicus to everyone in her training program ("Fuck you, fuck each one of you, fuck you all..."); an image that still tickled me. Not long after hearing that story, I was doing a show, and wouldn't you know it?! That series of gestures fit perfectly into my translation, so I used it. The Giver happened to be in the audience I remember hearing her bust up laughing as I incorporated it into my line.

The next memory is the night Consumer A gave Consumer B The Finger on a particularly long and grueling ER assignment where everything that could happen, did, and ended with me being slammed against the wall and handcuffed. I'd elaborate but it's a particularly long story; the salient point is that The Finger was given, names were called, and I was arrested. In front of my intern. Who was from the program I graduated from half-way across the country. Good times.