TSO

I'm in a mood that's more foul than normal of late, what with it being that time of year and all. I really want to be festive and happy, but I just can't bring myself to do it. There's a part of me that secretly harbors a little joy in my black heart around this time of year, though goddess only knows why. I think I like the intention of what this time of year could be, though it seems to get lost in the hypocrisy and capitalism of it all. That, and hearing fuckin' Christmas music beginning around Oct 20th. Really, a person can only stand so much festivity.

One of the things that used to be my favorite thing about this time of year was going to see either The Nutcracker or some production of A Christmas Carol (or, on a random couple of years, working on a production A Christmas Carol). My favorite part of A Christmas Carol is Act I Scrooge. Always has been; always will be. I just can't shake that "Bah! Humbug!" feeling of my own. While I have always enjoyed the show, the warm tingly feeling of embracing the Christmas spirit only lasts for me until I hit the exit, and get confronted with other people and I think, "Y'all can just fuck right off." It's pathological, really.

For the last few years, my new tradition has been to see the Trans-siberian Orchestra concert.

About 6 years ago, my partner had turned me on to seeing them. All I had known previously was that song that was played on the radio at this time of year, "Sarajevo, 12/25", but everyone calls it "Christmas in Sarajevo." Now, I'm not a big fan of going to the symphony (and if you have only heard TSO's music, you'd think it's just classical music played with a rock beat). I wasn't really jazzed about the idea of going to a symphony concert (boring!!), even it was all rocked out. He was beside himself: we had floor seats and he was like a kid in a candy store. I had spend the entire day looking forward to getting back home after the concert: I had images of my childhood, having Christmas shoved down my throat, forced merriment coupled with threats of violence if I didn't enjoy the godddamned holiday season. So I was more than a little nonplussed with the idea of having all that irritating shit thrown in my face again. I can't tell you how much I didn't want to go to the concert.

We got to the concert hall (the stadium used for rock concerts) and walked in. It looked like a typical rock concert set up: a stage with insruments all over; there were Christmas carols being piped over the PA system, quietly, but loud enough to hear and think, God this fucking sucks. Where's the bar?

After having spent the whole day bickering and sniping at each other, the last thing I wanted was to be stuck in a room that was 5,000+ people strong (or however many people go to a concert), rabid with holiday excitement.

After what felt to be an eternal wait, the concert began. The lights went down, the crowd roared.
And it happened.

I was transported. It. Was. Stunning.

The lights, the sounds, the amazing energy... I have never before or since been to any other concert like this one. (Read the story here.)

When he took the stage and opened his mouth, and the first notes of his song hit me, I immediately fell in love with Guy LeMonnier--his voice literally moved me to tears, it was so beautiful and rich. He sadly no longer tours with TSO, and the replacement for his is pretty okay, but the performer lacks a certain je ne sais quoi. Just sitting here typing this, remembering Guy's voice brings a tear to my eye. It's freakish and unsettling that I have such a reaction, and his songs are probably the only "Christmas" songs that I can stand listening to in mid-July even (and yes, I'll still tear up at the sound of his voice).

Tonight I am going to see the TSO concert again. I think this will be the either the 5th or 6th year I have seen them; I look forward to it now every year. It's my own little piece of the holiday season that I hold dear and embrace, and allows me to celebrate in my own way.

It's a concert I recommend to everyone, even those who have little black anti-Christmas hearts like mine. It's the most amazing concert experience one could ever have--fun, exciting, stimulating visually in ways that are entirely unexpected. I have seen it from the floor, from the back, from the side.... it's never a bad show, even in the cheap seats.

So, in honor of a most incredible concert experience, Happy TSO everybody.