I laughed, I cried, I peed my pants...

...all from fear. No, terror.

Before you read further, be warned: SPOILERS AHEAD. That being said...

You remember that piece of cinematic tripe that was "The Blair Witch Project"? Well, this was done along the same lines: total contrived story line on a small budget. A sort of "what if..?" sort of thing.

Having sat through the whole Blair Witch thing, and nearly walking out several times to ask for my money back, I anticipated the same kind of let down with this movie. Since I am generally not the type to go see scary movies, particularly about any sort of ghosts (I have several stories on why...perhaps that would make for a great post...), I thought I'd see this only because I was expecting it to be totally lame like the Blair Witch was.

Holy shit! I was so many different kinds of wrong I cannot even tell you.

This movie now qualifies as THE scariest movie I have ever seen. Ever.

Which isn't saying much since I don't watch scary movies. I had nightmares from the commercials for White Noise, that Michael Keeton EVP flick. The commercials, for Christ's sake! When I saw Amityville Horror (the original; the only good thing about the remake was Ryan Reynolds shirtless and the only scary part was, well, the acting), I was scared. When I saw the remake of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre I was scared, even more than when I saw the Amityville Horror. In fact, I'm too fucking chicken to watch the original, because after screaming like a girl during the remake, I didn't want to take any chances and subject myself to the original terror. This movie? Hands down the most terrifying cinematic experience I've ever had.

I laughed uncontrollably from nervousness. Then I cried because I was so freaked out. And yes, I peed my pants from sheer terror at one point during the movie. Not the freakish leave-a-huge-wet-spot pee, but, Gee-I'm-feeling-a-warm-trickle-as-I-just-sit-here pee.

For 90 minutes, I felt like I was back in the south where people actually do talk to the movie. There were guys and girls both talking to the movie screen. Screams of terror were eminating from the mouths of most of the people in the auditorium.

I would love to see this movie again, because I think this sort of scare-the-shit-out-of-someone fear is funny. But I'm afraid to see it again. By the end of the movie, I was drenched in a cold sweat with pee-dampened underwear. Not an expereince I'd care to have again. And the ending? It made my bloood run cold.

And an auditorium of 100+ people all shouted in unison, "AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"