In a funk

...and I just can't shake it.

Have been struggling A LOT with my work for several months now; I just can't get a grasp on it. There are a bunch of little things piling up for me, but I think they all add up to the fact that, while I love my job (at least I think I do...), I am struggling to find my committment to excellence I once had.

I sacrifice clarity for speed. I am too involved/my boundaries have blurred. I have lost that sense of wonder and excitement for the community and language I once had. I am generally discouraged my newer members of my field (this won't be PC but generally I think they suck and have serious entitlement issues).

Part of the reason I may be struggling so much is my personal life is in a tailspin. Ok, so maybe I'm exaggerating a bit. But I feel my personal life is stressed, it is bleeding into my professional life. I want to find a nice harmonious balance between the two, and haven't been able to do so. For quite some time.

I am trying to look at it, and work on it, but discouragement and disappointment are strong forces that are causing me to stagnate.

I was at a fantastic workshop today, about recommitting to the field. I was so jazzed for it. But I left and my buzz didn't last long.

I'm frustrated.